"Your Fear is gonna cost a lot...

...but your courage comes for free" -Dr. Dog 'Humble Passenger'

Fear is something I will always have. Not necessarily the fear that arrives in a darkened room, but the paranoia, rather, that comes with it. That's why when we discuss imposter syndrome, it's something that hits home. Even in undergrad, I would pause and think, "God, I can't believe I'm here". And now? Now I am one of 12 incredibly talented young adults seeking a one year master's degree in Public History. It is not odd for one to think they do not belong, especially in a situation that I currently find myself.

Gemma Correll possibly sums it up best in her Instagram post found below.

View this post on Instagram

Impostor syndrome seems to me to be a common affliction among successful women. Even the thought of calling myself a “successful woman” makes me bristle and feel like I’ve put some kind of jinx on myself. Although I can see, objectively, that I’ve accomplished a lot and that I’ve worked really hard to get to where I am, my stupid, fragile sense of self-esteem will not allow me to accept that. I fear that allowing myself to experience a sense of pride or accomplishment will make it all go away. I’m convinced that every job I do will be my last — and soon, I’ll be found out for the talent-less fraud that I really am. A comic for @thelilynews 💙 #comics #impostersyndrome

A post shared by Gemma Correll (@gemmacorrell) on Aug 28, 2019 at 11:09pm PDT

However, the best words of advice I heard was to use those thoughts against feelings of being a fraud. Why do I belong here? Because I do. I was chosen from a pile of applications because someone found me interesting. Focus on those moments of encouragement, because they are true.

Now back to the regularly scheduled programming!

It has been a busy week for me. I've had three meetings. The first was the international grad-student orientation, which, I admit, was boring with the only reason being because the stuff they talked about, I had already done. However, at the end, we participated in trivia game where the top three players got a $50.00 gift card. Yours truly won second!

I also had a department meeting about the major as well as (on another day) one about the public history projects in two of my classes throughout the year.

Along with all of the meeting excitement (gotta get ready for the real world!) I had a meeting (surprise!) with my Research Assistant Supervisors at the beautiful Eldon House! I cannot believe I will be spending time working there over the course of the year. I've been reading up on some of the material they gave me and it is amazing! The amount of artifacts original to the house seem unreal.
Not to mention the 4 generations of family that lived there wrote at least 50-60 years of diary entries tracking the social, political, and economic changes in London as well as the world. Pictures and post forthcoming

Finally, I rounded off the week on Friday the 7th going on a class trip to The Oil Museum of Canada (Fairbanks Oil Fields). We got a tour from a fourth generation oil miner. It was a fantastic trip as well as an enlightening experience. Oil Springs, Canada was the site of a lot of firsts, but, most important, it was the site of the first Oil Rush in all of North America (suck on that Rockefeller). The passion the individuals have who work there is incredible. They are actually applying for recognition as a UNESCO World Heritage Site, which I whole-heartedly believe they deserve. Without those mighty wells pouring out barrels of oil, where would our modern luxuries be today? No gum, no makeup, no plastic—the list goes on.

From left to right: Jerker line pump, Oil and water (oil is coming from pipes on the long side), Oil, One of the many statues at the site, Gum beds (Oil seeps up from the ground. It is still soft like putty)

I suppose I could go on longer as well, but there is an art to being brief. If you want to hear more about studying in Canada and more of these fun stories, hit that subscribe button at the top of the page!

As always,

Festina Lente my friends

--Jess--